Given its name, “sex therapy” combines two things that often make people feel uncomfortable discussing. We’re often taught that sex is a private matter, that it shouldn’t be discussed in any real context with others, and men in particular are implicitly (and incorrectly) told that their manliness is tied to sexual performance and abilities. With all of these external expectations and misplaced biases, it’s not difficult to see why people shy away from sex therapy.
This is all perfectly understandable and valid. As a therapist, I always strive to create a judgment-free, accepting, open environment during my sessions. During sex therapy sessions, this is even more important.
Some common reasons people choose to seek sex therapy include:
- Sexual dysfunction (i.e. erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation)
- Mismatched sexual desires with a partner
- Performance anxiety
- Unsatisfactory sex life in a relationship
- Emotional connection concerns with a partner
- Interest in exploring new sexual avenues
- Self-confidence and discovery
How Does Sex Therapy work?
If sexual issues are preventing true closeness between you and your partner, you may want to consider sex therapy. When I begin a new patient, I focus on two major factors:
- The physical relationship between the people in a relationship, and
- The couple’s attitudes about sex and the sexual problem.
From there, I’ll often recommend specific exercises to refocus the couple’s attention and expectations. With practice and time, patients often see improvement in their specific areas of concern, which has a ripple effect through the rest of the relationship.
Specific objectives may include:
- Learning to relax and eliminate distractions
- Learning to communicate your desires in a positive way
- Learning nonsexual touching techniques
- Increasing or enhancing sexual stimulation
- Minimizing pain during intercourse
If you’re considering sex therapy, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. I can say with some degree of authority that lots of people participate in sex therapy – it’s just not necessarily a topic that people bring up over dinner.
People have sexual problems for all kinds of reasons, and it’s not something you have to suffer through alone. Contact me today for a free consultation to see if we are a good patient-therapist match.