Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is becoming an increasingly accepted and fulfilling relationship structure for individuals and couples seeking more expansive ways to connect emotionally, romantically, and sexually. Whether you’re exploring polyamory, open relationships, polyfidelity, or any other CNM dynamic, it’s important to do so with clarity, intention, and mutual respect. At Rhode Island Sex Therapy, Dr. Michael Stokes provides compassionate, nonjudgmental support for those navigating consensual non-monogamy—whether you’re new to it, actively practicing, or facing challenges along the way. With expert guidance, you can explore what CNM means for you and your relationship.

Common Questions About Consensual Non-Monogamy

It’s completely normal to have questions or doubts when exploring a non-traditional relationship structure like consensual non-monogamy. Our culture largely emphasizes monogamy as the gold standard, which can make it difficult to unpack your thoughts, emotions, or concerns without shame or confusion. Below are some of the most common questions people have when considering CNM and how therapy can help you find clarity.

What Is Consensual Non-Monogamy?

Open, modern, polyamorous, polyfidelity, throuple. These are all terms you may hear used to describe versions of consensual non-monogamy. This is a type of relationship that extends beyond the mono-typical partnerships that are often considered the norm in our society.

Is Consensual Non-Monogamy Right for My Marriage?

Consensual non-monogamy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, but for some couples, it can strengthen intimacy, improve communication, and enhance overall satisfaction. What matters most is that both partners feel safe, heard, and respected in the decision-making process.

If you and your spouse are open to exploring new relationship dynamics, willing to engage in honest conversations, and committed to maintaining trust and emotional connection, consensual non-monogamy may be a healthy and fulfilling path. Therapy can provide the guidance and structure needed to assess compatibility, establish boundaries, and navigate this journey together with confidence and clarity.

For those considering consensual non-monogamy in their current relationship, exploring a partnership with a non-monogamous couple, or simply curious about how these relationship dynamics function, Rhode Island Sex Therapy offers a welcoming and informed space to learn and grow. Consider scheduling a session with Dr. Michael Stokes, a Rhode Island Licensed Mental Health Counselor and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.

Is Consensual Non-Monogamy Just an Excuse for My Partner to Cheat?

No at all. There are many reasons why committed partners may want to engage in consensual non-monogamy and none of them is that they want to cheat on their spouses.

Instead, consensual non-monogamy is a way of acknowledging and accepting that one person can’t necessarily provide everything that another person needs to feel fully satisfied. This is true and more readily accepted when we’re discussing emotional support, but it can also be true sexually. It can be beneficial to your partnership to explore non-monogamy, allowing for a fuller range of sexual experiences while still remaining in and supporting your committed relationship.

Does My Partner Wanting Non-Monogamy Mean I’m Not Enough?

This feeling of rejection or feeling not good enough stems from a cultural pressure for people to be in monogamous relationships. It’s the expected norm, so when someone acts in a way that’s outside of that, negative stereotypes are often applied to maintain the status quo. This is certainly true when it comes to monogamy and non-monogamy.

Monogamous relationships are the accepted norm in our culture. Narratives surrounding non-monogamy often take on a negative connotation, including things like one partner isn’t good enough.

The truth is no one should be expected to meet every one of your needs at all times. Relationships and sexuality grow and evolve over time, and if that means you and your partner would be happier including others in your relationship in some way, there’s nothing wrong with either of you.

Do We Need Therapy Before Beginning Consensual Non-Monogamy?

Consensual non-monogamy requires radical transparency. That means you have to trust your partners and yourselves to be completely honest about wants and needs for the relationship. In many cases, one or both partners, even if they are doing their utmost to be honest, may hold back or fail to consider every aspect of this type of relationship.

Therapy can help you think through the logistics, consider how certain experiences may feel, and talk through any hesitancy or concerns you may have. Therapy sessions can also help to foster a safer environment where partners feel more willing to share with complete honesty.

How Do I Get Started With Therapy for Consensual Non-Monogamy?

Rhode Island Sex Therapy is committed to making every aspect of the therapy experience simple, easy, and straightforward, beginning with the scheduling process. Prospective clients can get started by calling (401) 236-5021, emailing DrMichaelStokes@gmail.com, or using the convenient contact form on the website. The practice welcomes individuals and couples ready to explore their relationship goals, including consensual non-monogamy, in a supportive, professional setting.